You've Got Mail
by Mettespo
Summary: AU - What happens if Mac was pregnant when Will broke up with her. She tells him via email, but he only reads her mails 3 years later. I don't own anything except the idea for this story.
1. Chapter 1

Will stormed into his apartment, pulled off his jacket, which ended up in a pile against a wall, and went straight to the bar to get a drink. He gulped down a whiskey and got an immediate refill before he walked over to the couch and let himself fall down.

Why the fuck did he end up with a completely inept team and why does every new EP seems to be even more incompetent than the one he had before?

Today's broadcast had just been a complete disaster, there was no denying.  
The satellite interview with their field reporter in Afghanistan broke off in the middle and his EP Matt didn't have a contingency plan, so there was a 10 second gap in between segments – Couldn't he have just switched to a fucking commercial? Then a wrong graphic was shown during an interview with the Speaker of the House and on top of this his teleprompter had broken down.

Why oh why couldn't they find him a capable EP he could work with, so that he didn't have to fire them every few weeks? He had told his boss Charlie Skinner already that they had to find a replacement for Matt soon, and that had been before today's show!

He took another sip from his drink, rested his head against the back of the couch and sighed. He knew exactly where this line of thought would take him... To the only EP that has ever been able to handle him, MacKenzie McHale – Coincidentally also the love of his life until she cheated on him with her ex-boyfriend...

He gulped down the rest of the drink and went to get another one.  
He really didn't want to think about all this again, but he knew once his mind went down this road there was no stopping it... He hadn't spoken to MacKenzie for almost three years now but he still missed her like she was a part of his body that had been cut off. Missed her in his newsroom and even more in his life.

He lit a cigarette and then his hand automatically reached out for the laptop on the table. He pulled it up in front of him, opened it and went to his email program, as always staring at the folder carrying her name.

When she had told him, that she had cheated on him with Brian fucking Brenner for four months he could only stare at her and didn't hear anything else after that. Like looking through a cloud he saw her pleading and begging for his forgiveness but he didn't understand a single word she said after that dreadful confession. He had just closed down.

How could she have done that? They had been so very happy – or so he had thought at that time. But apparantly she didn't love him and he had just wasted two years of his life on something he believed to be his future.

That night he had thrown her out of their apartment and told her that he never wanted to see her again. And he hadn't.  
It had happened on a Friday night and when he came into work on Monday, after a weekend he had spent completely drunk, she had already resigned and emptied out her office.

She had called him repeatedly though, but he never answered the calls and deleted every single voicemail message she had left without even listening to them.  
He was hurt, so damn hurt, and his heart seemed to have turned into a block of ice.

When she realized that he wasn't going to reply to her phone calls she had started sending emails, but he hadn't been able to read a single one of them. Instead he created a folder in his mail program where her emails were stored automatically so that he didn't even have to see them. He only kept track of the number of unread emails shown next to the folder's name, which was up to 223 by now, still rising. She was persistent, he had to give her that...

As so often before the cursor on the screen was hovering over her folder. He had never clicked on it before and though he didn't know what was different this time, today he did open it after another slug of his whiskey.

He stared at the long row of emails, saw her name in the sender's column and closed his eyes. What was he doing? Did he really want to get into this?

He still felt betrayed and he still hated her for having done this to him – to _them_. But at the same time he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her. That he had never stopped loving her. If it just wouldn't hurt so damn much!

He swallowed hard, then opened his eyes again and clicked on the first mail she had sent almost 3 years ago.

 **From: Mac  
To: Will  
Date: 30 May 2007, 09:42 a.m.**

 _Will,  
I don't know if you ever listened to the voicemail messages I left, so I hope you will at least read this email.  
I cannot beginn to express how sorry I am about what happened. I was young and stupid and I was so insecure... In the beginning I didn't know what we had, but as soon as I realized that I love you I never saw him again.  
Please believe me, you are the only man I want. I love you and I want to be with you.  
I miss you so much, please call me!  
Mac_

Yeah, right, he snorted. Sure, she didn't know what they had... So why did she tell him over and over, that she loved him? Granted not as early as he had said it, but for one and a half years she had made him believe that she loved him. He remembered the first time she told him as if it was yesterday...

It was a Saturday, about six months after they had started dating, and he had taken her out to a wonderful candlelight dinner. Afterwards they had returned to his apartment and spent the rest of the evening in bed, indulging in hours of slow lovemaking. She ended up laying on top of him, completely exhausted and content, but almost drifting off to sleep she had lifted her head, looked into his eyes and said „I love you, Billy" before kissing him deeply.

He had noticed that during the course of the month prior to this evening something had changed for the better in their relationship – which had already been good before. She had appeared to be more secure, a shadow seemed to have been lifted off her and it was so good to finally hear her say these words!

After that, how could she have told him over and over again, when at the same time she was fucking Brian fucking Brenner?

He clicked on the next email.

 **Date: 30 May 2007, 06:23 p.m.**

 _Will,  
please! I know you check your emails regularly, you must have seen mine from this morning.  
Please call me, please give me a chance to explain!  
I love you more than anything!  
Mac_

What the hell did she want to explain? What did she think she _can_ explain?

 **Date: 31 May 2007, 03:14 a.m.**

 _Will,  
another night where I cannot sleep. I haven't slept for days.  
I miss you, I miss being close to you.  
I understand that you probably need time, but please just send me a short answer so that I know you are at least reading my emails?  
Always yours,  
Mac_

As if he hadn't missed her... He still missed her, after three fucking years!  
He had tried to forget her, God knows he had tried, but by now he thought he would never get over her...

He got up to get a refill and then decided to bring the whole bottle back to the table. After another sip he opened the next email.

 **Date: 31 May 2007, 03:13 p.m.**

 _Will,  
I did manage to get a couple of hours sleep last night, but not nearly enough. I guess it doesn't matter though, as I don't have a new job yet and spend my days – and nights - thinking about you. About us.  
Please let me say again, how sorry I am. Like I said on Friday, I don't even know for sure why I did it, but I think it was because he rejected me. I liked that he hated that I was dating _you _and I needed to prove to myself that I could still have him if I wanted. I don't know, can I say I was trying to get „un-rejected"? Is that even a word?  
You and I weren't that serious back then,_

Will squinted his eyes and repeated incredulously. „Back then? Not that serious?"  
What the hell was she fucking talking about?

 _we had only started dating_

What the fuck?  
They had been together for almost 2 years!

 _but I was still a little hung up on B. I mean, we had been a couple for 3 years – granted, on and off, but still..._ You _were amazing from the beginning, but I just wasn't ready to jump right in from head to toe...So when B. called about four weeks after our first date_

Four weeks after the first date?  
He slowly put his glass down on the table, never taking his eyes off the words.

 _I wasn't so much thinking about you but rather how to get back at B. and how to make_ me _feel better about myself. I should have known that what I needed for that was just you, only you, but I was so stupid...  
It's no excuse but I want you to know... Though this thing with B. extended over 4 months I „only" went to see him thrice during that time... And being with him made me realize how much I loved you – _still love you _\- so I never saw him again once I knew, I swear to that. I just wanted you._

 _I love you, Billy, I love you. Please forgive me.  
Forever yours,  
Mac_

Will stared at the computer screen, feeling numb.  
She hadn't cheated on him way into their relationship but right at the beginning, when they weren't even seeing each other exclusively? Oh, _he_ for sure was, he had known from the moment he first laid eyes on her, but they had never really talked about it...

Why the hell didn't she tell him that night?  
Then he flinched – She probably _did_ tell him, he just didn't hear it because he had tuned out during her attempt to explain...

He hastily opened her next message.

 **Date: 01 June 2007, 11:54 p.m.**

 _Still no answer. I hope you are at least reading my emails.  
I have been torturing myself over and over with the question why I ever told you. But the truth is, I had never been in a relationship as serious as ours and I thought that's what I was supposed to do. I could not just take the next step and not have you know. I felt we were getting more and more serious and I wanted our relationship, wherever it would lead to in the end, to be based on honesty... Well, I guess this honesty took it down the road I never wanted to travel...  
I miss you so much, Billy. I wish I could be lying next to you right now, I want to touch you and kiss you and never let go off you...  
I hope at least _you _can sleep, you need to.  
I love you.  
Mac_

Will felt a tear running down his cheek.  
Why didn't he read her emails sooner? Why did he have to be such a prick and not even give her a chance?

All this time he had thought she had cheated on him directly before telling him, more than 18 months into their relationship and _after_ telling him she loved him.

And now he knew that she only told him that she loved him after she was certain that she wanted _him_ and not Brian fucking Brenner?

He read the following mails, all pretty similar to the ones before, her pledging her love to him and asking for forgiveness.  
He could feel the desperation she had felt while writing them, always hoping for his answer... all in vain... and now his own heart cried out for her.

The frequency of her writing had slowed down while the weeks passed but she still kept on going. She wrote him that she had moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts _(phew, not England!)_ , accepted a teaching position at Harvard and told him about how she settled into this new life. And then he came to the emails she had written in August.

 **Date: 14 August 2007, 08:21 p.m.**

 _Billy,  
please call me as soon as you can, please, I need to talk to you!  
Anytime, please?  
Mac_

 **Date: 15 August 2007, 00:46 a.m.**

 _Billy,_  
please _, I really need you. Call me!  
Mac_

What the fuck had happened?

He vaguely remembered that around that time he had received another voicemail message from her, after months of just emails. I had deleted that message, like all the others.

 **Date: 15 August 2007, 11:37 p.m.**

 _I realize you are not going to get in touch with me, I should have known... I tried to call you, but could only leave a voicemail message...  
Billy, I wish there was another way I could tell you, but.. Billy, I'm pregnant..._


	2. Chapter 2

Will froze.  
He read the words over and over. He read them quietly, he read them out loud, but they didn't make any sense. How could she be pregnant? She had been on the pill, how was that even possible?

 **Date: 16 August 2007, 05:21 p.m.**

 _Billy,  
it's almost been 24 hours since I wrote the last email. Still no reply from you.  
I pray you don't let me down. I really need you now... I'm overjoyed but I am also terrified about all this. I can't do this alone...  
Mac_

 **Date: 18 August 2007, 12:58 p.m.**

 _It's been three days now and it slowly sinks in that you will not be responding. Neither to me nor to the news that we will have a baby in a few months.  
I'm crying while I'm writing these lines – I don't know if it's the hormones or just my feelings about all this or my disappointment in you or a combination of all of the above...  
As much as it hurts I respect that you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore, but I was certain that you would not convey this resentment to your child...  
I love you and I will always love you, but I have to accept that obviously we don't have any future together anymore. But I want you to be a part of our child's life.  
I hope you do, too?  
Mac_

Will openly cried now.

What did – or rather didn't – he do?

He was going to be a father! Hell no, it's 2010, he _was_ a father!

 **Date: 20 August 2007, 12:58 p.m.**

 _Will,  
I don't know if you read this but I will continue writing to you. In some weird way it makes me feel like we _are _doing this together. If you ever change your mind and do want to be involved, call me. Or at least write. I'll always be glad to hear from you.  
I had the first doctor's appointment today.  
I didn't really pay attention to my cycle, you know it's never been really „on schedule". I thought I had caught a touch of a stomach flu a few weeks ago, __but oh boy, was that a mistake..._ _  
Now I'm already 14 weeks along, so it must have happened at the beginning of May. I like to think it was the wonderful weekend we spent at this adorable B &B in the Hamptons...Do you remember?  
According to the doctor everything seems to be fine and the date of __birth_ _is supposed to be the 26_ _th_ _of January.  
I hope you are as excited as I am?  
I will keep you posted.  
Mac_

He remembered this weekend well. It was the last time they had been out of the city together and they had spent hours in bed, only interrupted by long walks and romantic dinners.

She had been right in one of her earlier mails; their relationship had continuously evolved and during that weekend he had made the decision that he would get a ring and propose to MacKenzie very soon.  
She had to have sensed that and all she had wanted was to start their future with a clean slate... He was such a jackass!

 **Date: 23 August 2007, 04:42 p.m.**

 _I'm so excited, Will. With the doctor's confirmation it's really starting to sink in now...I'm having a baby! WE'RE having a baby!  
I am so very happy, but I'm also scared. I don't know if I can do this alone... I do know that I definitely don't _want _to do this alone..._ _But you are the only man I would ever want to have a child with. Now that I can't have you I'm so thankful that there will be at least a little McAvoy in my life. (Maybe in our life...?)_ _  
I love you, please never forget that.  
Mac_

 **Date: 10 September 2007, 08:35 p.m.**

 _I felt the baby move today for the first time! It was amazing and I almost started crying in front of my history of journalism class...!  
Wish you were here.  
Mac_

 **Date: 26 September 2007, 04:42 p.m.**

 _Exciting news, Billy!  
I had the next scheduled appointment with my gynecologist today. I'm in the 20th week now. Everything is as it should be and I can tell you that we are going to have a little baby girl!  
I'm crying (again) and I am just all maudlin. We're having a girl!  
I hope she will have your blonde hair and your beautiful blue eyes.  
I will attach the first picture of your daughter, isn't she beautiful?  
I pray you are as happy as I am.  
Mac_

A girl! He had a baby girl!  
He could hardly see out of his eyes anymore, which made identifying anything on the grainy sonogram picture she had attached to the mail virtually impossible.  
He wanted to go down to Cambridge immediately and see the two most important women in his life, hold them in his arms and shower them with kisses. But then it dawned on him:

His daughter was not a tiny little baby anymore but a toddler by now.  
And he didn't even know if Mac was still living in Cambridge. Maybe she had taken a job in another city in the meantime or perhaps she even went back to England to live closer to her parents. Maybe she had given up on him and was in a new relationship...  
Oh God, please no! Not when he was finally getting his head out of his ass!

He would have to read all of her mails first and hope she kept her promise to keep him in the loop.

 **Date: 01 October 2007, 10:11 p.m.**

 _I'm feeling great at the moment. The first trimester wasn't too tough, luckily I didn't suffer from morning sickness too much. Maybe it helped that I didn't even know I was pregnant then.  
My breasts are much bigger now (you wouldn't recognize them, Billy, for sure! But you'd probably like them. I know you've always liked them... *sigh*) _

Oh how she knew him...

 _and, I'm almost ashamed to admit it, I'm pretty prurient at the moment. I'm told it's normal in this stage of a pregnancy, just too bad I don't have anybody who can help me out with that...  
I wish you were here to take me into your strong arms and kiss me senseless. I want you to touch my breasts, flick your tongue to this special spot on my neck and oh God, you remember what you used to do with your fingers...?  
I'm actually blushing while I'm writing this... I guess if you don't stand on my doormat within 24 hours now I know we really are through...  
I'm still hoping, as you can see...  
You're the only one for me, Billy, but I do feel lonely, especially now...  
I love you, always._

„I love you, too, MacKenzie..."

His voice failed him, so he just hung his head and cried.

 **Date: 07 October 2007, 02:14 a.m.**

 _I can't sleep, my back hurts, I'm digested... I can't believe only a week ago I wrote how wonderful I felt. Luckily my good friend Sloan Sabbith from the Economics Department here at Harvard is being very supportive and patient when I start whining. I am pretty sure she'll hear much more of that in the upcoming months...  
I have a pretty big baby belly by now and you wouldn't believe how hard your daughter can kick! I'm pretty sure she's gonna be a soccer player!  
And with all of this going on I'm still horny like hell, can you believe that?  
Did you think about a name you would like for our little girl yet? Let me know._

 **Date: 24 October 2007, 06:45 a.m.**

 _Will,  
just a little note to let you know that we're doing okay. I'm having a little heartburn, but not too bad so far. It was to be expected.  
Sloan and I are done with the nursery. We (well, mostly she) painted the walls in a sunny yellow and the furniture is cremy white. We decided on Winnie the Pooh as a motive, you know how much I loved him as a child. Well, still do...  
I talked to the dean and I will start maternity leave right after christmas break. I will then stay home for 2 months after our baby is born and after that she will go into day care, we have a great facility on campus.  
Let me know what you're up to. I would really love to hear from you.  
Mac_

 **Date: 29 October 2007, 03:33 a.m.**

 _Billy,  
you never came back to me if you favour a specific name, so I decided to name our baby girl Catherine Elizabeth.  
Elizabeth after my grandmother and Catherine after your mother; I know how much you still miss her.  
Let me know if you have any objections.  
Mac  
P.S. You see I'm not sleeping well again... Wish you were here to give me one of your infamous back rubs..._

Will couldn't help but keep on crying. He treated Mac like shit and still she was up and about, keeping him informed and even considering his feelings.  
Catherine Elizabeth, what a beautiful name...

He felt like the absolute asshole he was for having let her go through all of this on her own.

 **Date: 27 November 2007, 11:15 a.m.**

 _Will,  
I'm sorry I haven't written for so long, but it's really getting more and more difficult to get everything done. I probably won't feel like writing that often anymore. Don't worry though, we are both doing fine (as if you care...)  
Mac_

 **Date: 17 December 2007, 06:45 a.m.**

 _Will,  
my belly is huge, I can't even see my feet anymore, let alone tie my shoes. Nowadays I'm mostly wearing shoes I just have to slip in, praying that my feet get hold of a matching pair... I'm short of breath, feel like a waddling duck when I'm moving and one moment I'm just grouchy, the next moment I snap at anybody who's near me and then again I'm chipper as a spring bird...  
My mother will be coming from England today to stay with me until the baby is born, I am SO glad. I told you already I was terrified. Well, I still am. At least now I have somebody who will stay with me during birth. Though I wish it was you instead.  
I meant what I said (wrote) – You're welcome here anytime.  
Mac_

 **Date: 25 December 2007, 12:05 p.m.**

 _Merry Christmas, Will.  
I'm through with work now and as much as I like teaching I'm actually relieved. It got harder every day.  
My mother is a big help. Right now she's in the kitchen making me a hot chocolate with loads ! of marshmallows. She's been spoiling me rotten these last days. :-) My father has also come out for christmas, it's really wonderful. And I can't believe that our little girl will be playing underneath the tree next christmas. She'll almost be a year old then already!  
What will you be doing today?  
I know I'm repeating myself: Still wish you were here...  
I don't think I ever told you, but I watch Newsnight whenever I can and I always tell our little munchkin that she should listen carefully, because it's her daddy talking to her.  
It doesn't make forgetting about you any easier, but after all, what are the chances for that anyway...?  
I still love and miss you. Always, every second of the day... But I know you have moved on, so I will try to stop telling you. Or at least only mention it on holidays and special occasions.  
Mac_

 **Date: 01 January 2008, 00:01 a.m.**

 _Happy New Year's, Billy.  
I love you and hope you are happy. (It's a holiday, so I'm allowed to say it!)_

 **Date: 05 January 2008, 02:45 a.m.**

 _I just want this to be over! I can't sleep, I can't sit, I can't turn, I have to go to the bathroom every five minutes... I want that pumpkin to get the hell out of me!  
But I'm still terrified... How am I supposed to get a watermelon through something the size of a walnut?  
My mother is a saint. You know how I act when I'm sick. It's similar – if not worse - now and she's so patient with me, I don't think I'll ever be able to make it up to her. I told her and she just smiled and said all will be forgotten as soon as I – and she – can hold our baby in my arms.  
Did I tell you already that I'm hoping she looks like you? I know, I know, I'm pathetic...  
3 more weeks..._

 **Date: 15 January 2008, 01:30 a.m.**

 _I can only write this late at the moment. My mother is almost always around me and she would absoluty freak out if she knew I was writing you... I told her what happened between us and while she basically tore my head off she doesn't understand that you are not the least bit interested in your baby. But she knows I like you and want you here so if you do want to come, don't be afraid to. She might put castor oil in your dinner but she'll let you live..._

 **Date: 22 January 2008, 02:08 p.m.**

 _Catherine Elizabeth McHale_

 _Born January 22, 2008 / 07.53 a.m.  
21.1 inches  
8.3 pounds_

 _Our perfect little angel. :-)_

Will drew in a sharp breath and hardly dared to click on the attachment. When he finally did he saw a picture of MacKenzie, a beautiful, radiant MacKenzie, obviously exhausted but exhuberantly happy, holding a tiny little bundle in her arms.  
His daughter!

He covered his mouth with his hand, teary-eyed and overwhelmed by a sudden surge of love overcoming him at the sight of them.

When he scrolled down he saw that there was a second picture, a close-up of Catherine sleeping peacefully in her mother's arms. A beautiful little girl with tiny but strangely enough at the same time seemingly endless fingers, a cute nose and a pink baby cap on her head.

He was a father...! He had a daughter!  
An ecstatic grin spread across his whole face and he felt like if he was walking on air.


	3. Chapter 3

Will had gone out onto the terrace. He needed fresh air but first and foremost of all he needed to process everything that had happened tonight.

He couldn't believe that Mac hadn't cheated on him the way he had always thought she did. In a way that would probably have made it virtually impossible for him to ever forgive her. And now it turned out _he_ was the prick and it was _his_ fault that he had spent the last three years without the woman he loved.  
 _Idiot, idiot, idiot!_

But even more incredibly he had a daughter he never knew about...  
A little girl he hoped would just be a miniture edition of MacKenzie, with shiny brown hair, sparkling brown eyes and a smile that would never fail to make his heart do backward somersaults when directed at him...

It was the beginning of March, which meant that Catherine was what now? 2 years and about 6 weeks old.  
He was devasteted at the thought of how many things in her short life he had missed already... He needed to get back inside. He had seen that most of the mails now included attachments; surely Mac had sent him many pictures of their precious daughter.

His daughter – Will almost felt like leaping for joy when he walked towards the sliding doors to return to his computer.

 **Date: 29 January 2008, 10:15 a.m.**

 _We are home.  
I'm still pretty exhausted, so I am glad that Mom is here to help me out. But Catherine – I call her Cathy for short if I don't use ridiculous pet names like Sweetie, Pumpkin etc. - is a very quiet baby so far and relatively easy to take care of. Hard to believe when you think about the way the two of us used to argue and fight about so many things. But maybe it's just the calm before the storm, so let's rather not jinx it...  
The birth was exhausting. It felt like an eternity but everybody keeps saying it was rather quick for a first child... It „only" took about 8 hours, but it hurt so much. However my mother was right: As soon as I held Catherine in my arms everything was forgotten.  
Cathy is a beautiful baby, simply adorable. If it was up to me I would just hold her in my arms all day and look at her and play with her little fingers and toes...  
Can you imagine that? I, who never really had a real connection to children before. I mean, I always thought babies are cute, but couldn't really understand what all this brouhaha was about... And now...? I'm fussing all over the place, you wouldn't believe it. I do hope it's at least partly the hormones...  
You couldn't see it on the picture I sent but her hair is dark. It won't necessarily stay like that, but for now there's no little McAvoy-twin in my life...  
I am honestly very disappointed that not even the birth of our little girl has triggered any response from you..  
_

Will covered his face with his hands. „I didn't know, Honey, I didn't know. I'm so sorry!"

 **Date: 03 February 2008, 03:24 p.m.**

 _Oh Billy,  
this unconditional love you feel for your child is almost frightening; I would do anything for Catherine and that from the moment I first laid eyes on her. It's unbelievable, one moment there is nothing and the next moment you are holding a little miracle in your arms...  
I have only known her for such a short time and already I cannot imagine my life without her anymore. I love her so much, Billy – And I know you would, too! Look at the pictures, isn't she just beautiful?  
I want to thank you for giving me this special gift.  
With all my love,  
Mac_

Will had to bite down on his knuckle to prevent the tears from falling again. He felt like a big mushy cotton candy ball inside and the alcohol he drank before surely didn't help.  
Only after taking a deep breath he was able to continue reading.

 **Date: 13 February 2008, 06:35 p.m.**

 _We went to our pediatrician for a scheduled check-up today and Cathy is fine. She is completely healthy and the doctor was very happy with her.  
She has already grown and is much more alert then during the first weeks.  
My mother will be leaving in a couple of days, she has been here for almost 2 months now. I am so grateful she came and helped me out. It will be scary to take care of Cathy all on my own, but we did develope a little routine so I hope that helps the both of us._

 **Date: 26 February 2008, 04:12 p.m.**

 _Cathy deliberately smiled at me for the first time today! I went to pick her up after her midday nap. When she heard me she turned her head to look at me and then she gave me the most gorgeous smile. I swear my heart almost stopped right then and there, Billy! I wish you had been there...  
_

After this a series of mails with mostly pictures followed and Will was fascinated to see the changes from one week to another. Cathy really was a beautiful baby and maybe it was just because he wanted her to, but he felt that she looked more and more like her mother.

 **Date: 23 March 2008, 06:35 p.m.**

 _Will,_

 _Cathy will be christened in two weeks, April 6th, at the Church of St. Paul here in Cambridge, I hope you will come.  
It will be a very small affair after the Sunday service. Sloan will be her godmother and she is really excited about this. She loves our little doll and is always supporting us. My parents will be coming, too, and they are bringing our family's christening robe which my great-grandmother wore to her christening already. I'll probably just end up in tears for the whole ceremony...  
But before that we are having another big day. Tomorrow I'll start working again and Cathy will go into day care for the first time. I can't imagine not being around her all the time anymore and having to leave her with strangers! I know it will be harder for me than for her and I know that they will take great care of her, but still... My little angel... I miss her already just thinking about it.  
Mac_

 **Date: 07 April 2008, 06:29 a.m.**

 _I don't have to drop Cathy off at day care today (to which she has adjusted beautifully which in turn helps me a lot in accepting that I have to leave her there while going to work), as my parents are staying here to take care of her for the next couple of weeks. They can't get enough of her and I am really happy that they came over.  
I just wanted to use this time to let you know that we had a wonderful christening ceremony yesterday, although Cathy did cry a little when her head got wet. Come to think of it, it actually sounded a little indignant.  
I was secretly hoping you would show up but I guess I have to grow up and face the facts... Still, here some pictures of the christening party. You know my parents and the tall woman with the dark hair is Sloan, her godmother, I told you about her._

Will was overwhelmed by all that he had learned so far. But it was almost 3:00 a.m. already, so he started to rather scan the following mails instead of carefully reading them. He would do that later, but for now he just wanted to get to his family as soon as possible.

 _Cathy has started to turn herself from her back to her tummy and the other way around._

 _..._

 _Our poor baby is having colics and has kept me awake for the last nights. I'm feeling so helpless and it hurts to see her in pain. And I'm so tired, I'm almost sure I fell asleep during a test I had my students take today, luckily a written one..._

 _..._

 _She loves to play peekaboo! It doesn't matter if I hold my hand in front of my eyes, step out of her sight and then back or put a blanket over her head and pull it down. She just loves it and smiles and laughs and kicks her chubby little arms and legs, it's heartwarming._

 _..._

 _I had to stop breastfeeding, I just didn't have enough milk anymore. But I had started giving her formula in between before. She always had a few bottles ready in day care in case I couldn't be there when she was hungry. So the change wasn't too abrupt for her, I hope. I'm the one missing it, but it will make getting through the day so much easier..._

 _..._

 _June 28th, do you remember? It is (or rather would be) our anniversary to_ _day. I wonder what we would be doing to celebrate if we hadn't broken up.  
And hey, I said I would tell you on special occasions:  
I love you, still. There is nothing I can do about that. It feels like a physical law of the universe and I will never stop loving you.  
You know I don't follow the tabloids, but although it hurts to think about you with another woman I do want you to be happy. I hope you have found someone._

Phew, if she hadn't read the tabloids she didn't know about the string of dates he had had a few months after the break-up, so at least he didn't cause her any more pain. He had thought it would be the easiest way to forget about her, but instead he just ended up comparing his dates to MacKenzie and none of them stood a chance. So he had quit the dating business and had just concentrated on his work instead.

 _..._

 _So much is happening here, I can't believe you are missing it!  
Cathy is trying to stand. Naturally it doesn't really work yet, but when I hold her hands she manages to hold up for a couple of seconds.  
And yesterday she ate her first real food – porridge. She was a mess after we were done, but she liked it! Of course I have taken pictures, before and after. You can probably tell that she had carrots...  
_

Cathy's face, her hands, her bib, everything was orange. There were even orange blobs in her hair and she laughed into the camera, holding a spoon as if she wanted to attack someone. So adorable!

And Will fell in love with her all over once more.

 _..._

 _She is almost 8 months old now and the first teeth seem to be coming in, you probably know, what that means: More nights without sleep. But I don't mind, I just wish I could do more to help her. It physically hurts to see her in pain... :-(_

 _..._

 _Her first tooth broke through, look at the picture!_

And then there was a mail that made him sit straight up.

 **Date: 11 September 2008, 08:45 p.m.**

 _I'm watching Newsnight right now (No, you won't hear me say anything about the show itself...You certainly know my opinion about what has become of it...)._

He squirmed, but he knew she had a point.

 _Often I record it and watch it together with Catherine.  
Don't worry, I fast-forward when there are reports that aren't suitable for little children. She wouldn't understand the words yet, but I don't want her to see violence and death. I just want her to get used to your voice and your face. I always tell her that you are her daddy...  
Seeing you tonight made me think about what Sloan said the other day. She thinks I should get out more and start dating... At first I completely dismissed that idea but now I think she might be right... It's been almost 16 months now that we broke up and I haven't had a single date since. I know I'm not quite ready yet, but maybe over the next weeks or months that will change.  
I'm never really lonely - how could I be with having Cathy - but I do miss having a partner to talk to, to hold and support me and maybe even just say „Stay put, I will check on Cathy" when I'm exhausted after a long day.  
Doing everything alone is challenging and as much as I love that little pumpkin sometimes it's frustrating.  
Sloan has offered to babysit whenever I need someone and I also have a few students who I trust and who would like to make a few bucks, so that wouldn't be a problem.  
Well, we'll see what happens._

Will's heart rate quickened.  
He knew it was selfish of him but he didn't want her to date, he wanted her to wait for him!  
He realized though that he had no right to ask her to do that, especially as he never did a single thing to keep her hopes up.

The next mails concentrated on Cathy again – the next teeth coming through, being skittish with strangers, starting to crawl and so much more, including pictures of all the important moments. He was so thankful that Mac had tried to include him the best she could, and that without ever getting anything in return.

And then...

 **Date: 15 November 2008, 00:32 a.m.**

 _Will,  
I haven't written in a while, sorry about that. I've been very busy lately with work and Cathy has gotten more and more active. She's constantly moving (at a pretty awesome speed!), pulls herself up on the furniture and tries to get everything out of the shelves she can get ahold of. I have to be after her constantly when she is awake and I'd never thought I'd be so grateful for the playpen Sloan got us. It helps to get at least a little rest in between.  
Anyway, I really needed to get away from the daily chaos for a while so I accepted an invitation from a colleague. His name is Michael and he's a history professor. We met at a joint history lecture on journalism during World War II. He had asked me out a few times before and now that I finally felt ready we had a couple of nice dates. He knows that I'm just getting back in the game and we are taking it slow. But whatever happens, it's just feels good to get out.  
Maybe I am actually ready to move on..._

No, no, no!

Will glanced over the next mails but there was no other mentioning of Michael until shortly before christmas.

 **Date: 18 December 2008, 11:13 p.m.**

 _I just wanted to let you know that Cathy and I will be flying to London for christmas to spend the holiday with my parents. It's the first time on a plane for her, I hope it works out and she doesn't cry the whole time... We'll be gone from the 23rd til right after New Year's, just in case you thought about dropping by.  
Tonight we had our faculty's christmas party. I had planned on going with Michael, but we both decided a few weeks ago that we didn't work out. He's a sweet guy and we had good talks, but there just wasn't anything more. We kissed a couple of times, but... well... nothing...  
Maybe that's to be expected when you start dating somebody after having been with the love of your life?  
Yes, _you _are the love of my life, Billy. I had a few too many drinks tonight and seeing how rarely that happens nowadays I mark that as a special occasion. Christmas is close, too, so I say it:  
I love you, I love you, I love you.  
I have to go now, crawl under my covers and cry for a while.  
Mac  
_

Will just sat there and could only read these words over and over.  
His heart cried out for Mac's pain, but maybe... maybe they would still have a chance after all...

 **Date: 05 January 2009, 09:21 a.m.**

 _Will,  
we are back home.  
We had the most wonderful time in England. The flights were no problem at all and Cathy just twisted everyone we met around her little finger. She sure is a charmer, that little one!  
My parents were just so happy to have us over for the holidays. They had been to Cambridge in the fall, but CitCat (my father gave her that nickname and she loves it! She laughs every single time she hears it.) has changed so much since then. We really have to try to meet more often.  
Something amazing happened during our time there: Cathy said her first word!  
She looked at me and clearly said „Mama"!  
I stood there grinning like an imbecile for a few seconds and then I just _had to _scoop her up and kiss her all over. My heart spilled over, I can hardly describe the feeling... She's said it a few times since then so it wasn't an accident, that's for sure. My little angel...  
Will... I also wanted to apologize for my last email. Not for saying that I still love you - that I do and I told you I would say it once in while - but for getting all weepy. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable; it's entirely my fault I can't move on.  
Well, not entirely my fault... If you just weren't so damn perfect!_

 **Date: 22 January 2009, 07:52 p.m.**

 _It's our princess' birthday today!  
Can you believe she is already 1 year old? It seems like yesterday that they put her into my arms at the hospital and I treasure every single second with her since then.  
Sadly my parents couldn't come over. They will be here for Easter, so they delivered their birthday serenade via Skype. Sloan and a couple other friends came over this afternoon with arms full of presents and even some of my students got her some little things. I told you everybody loves her!  
It was a long and strenuous day for her so she went to bed very early and is sound asleep now.  
I can't thank you enough for the wonderful gift you have given me. If you only knew what you are missing out on...  
Forever yours,  
Mac_

Oh yes, if he had only known...

„I love you, Mac. And I love you, my little darling... I'll see you soon, I promise!"


	4. Chapter 4

Despite being on an adrenalin high Will was getting tired, but he couldn't stop. Besides, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, so he just made himself a strong coffee and continued reading.

 **Date: 13 February 2009, 10:24 a.m.**

 _It's Saturday and thanks to Auntie Sloan I could sleep in today, it feels like the first time in ages. I actually just woke up a few minutes ago!  
I had to attend a function last night and so CitCat had her first sleepover! I do enjoy the piece and quiet for a change but I am already starting to miss her, too. I'll have to get up soon, I promised to bring breakfast and after that we plan on going sledding. We're having so much snow here, it's wonderful.  
I've been dreaming about you last night; it was actually kind of scary. We were skiing and I was caught in a snowdrift I couldn't get myself out of. I called you and held my arms out to you for help, but you just smiled and slowly passed right by me... I desperately called for you again... and then I woke up and was pretty shaken...  
Do you think that was my subconscience telling me that you will never give me another chance?  
Mac_

NO!

Will scrolled quickly now, just scanning over the content of the next mails. He would catch up on everything concerning Cathy later but for now he needed to concentrate on Mac. He had to get to the end of this folder to find out where he had to go and if she still wanted to see him.

 **Date: 12 March 2009, 02:13 a.m.**

 _I'm tired, Will, I'm so tired of being alone... It's been almost 2 years now that I haven't talked to you, that I haven't touched you. That I had_ anybody _I could share my live with.  
I'm in bed and just want somebody to hold me, to make me feel secure and to love me.  
I don't know how long I can go on like this anymore...  
Mac  
_

 **Date: 15 March 2009, 04:46 p.m.**

 _I'm sorry about the last mail, Will, I had a bad day.  
Cathy was sick, she had chicken pox, and it was a really hard time, naturally for her but also for me. She was itching all over and I had to be on a constant watch so that she wouldn't scratch herself. She hardly slept at all and when she did it was a very fitful sleep. Consequently I hardly slept for 4 days either, and that was when I wrote those words. I just wanted to get one single night of uninterrupted sleep.  
She is feeling better now, thank God, and last night we both got a good rest; we really needed that._

Poor little munchkin... And poor Mac - Bless her heart for being such a wonderful mother...

 **Date: 12 April 2009, 09:28 a.m.**

 _Happy Easter, Daddy!_

 _Believe it or not, Cathy just typed this! (Okay, I was holding her finger, but still...)  
I wanted to let you know that she is really getting into that whole talking thing and last night she said „daddy" for the first time. I thought you might like to know that.  
We just got back inside from our Easter egg hunt, you should have seen CitCat walking from one bush to the next (holding my hand, she can't walk alone yet) and then bending down with her diaper butt sticking up in the air to search underneath. Hilarious!_

 **Date: 25 May 2009, 11:44 p.m.**

 _2 years, Will, it's been almost 2 years to the minute that I left your apartment... Do you ever think back to that day? I often do, even though I don't want to. It still hurts so much._

„I know, Mac..." he whispered

 _I honestly don't understand that you still haven't forgiven me..._

Will shook his head. There was nothing he had to forgive Mac for, nothing at all...

 _I know I did a terrible thing, but is it really so unforgivable, even after all this time?  
It's not that I cheated on you after we had been together for months. It was during a time where I didn't know what I wanted yet.  
I knew Brian and though obviously he was bad for me there was still something comfortable about him. I was only starting to get to know you and I had told you that I was on the rebound.  
Don't you think that I've been punished enough by now? Especially as this is not only about the two of us. Our _child _is also involved in this; she is also being punished and she hasn't even done anything.  
You should see her face lighten up when she spots you on tv... Luckily she doesn't understand yet, why you are not here and I'm dreading the day when she will be old enough to ask me. When she sees that her friend's fathers are coming home every day after work, that they bring their kids to school, play with them and read them a story at night... What will I tell her then?_

 _I'm starting to lose hope that you will ever change your mind, Billy. I know my family and my friends can't understand that I haven't given up on you a long time ago already, but I always believed in you. Now it's getting harder and harder to do so...  
I wish that wasn't the case, but I have to think about our – Catherine's and my – future, too. I was serious when I said I won't be able to do this alone forever...  
So far I have taken everything as a well-deserved punishment for my mistake. But do you know what?  
I have forgiven myself. I'm letting myself out of the dog house and will move on. I owe that to Cathy and to myself._

 _So for the last time:_

 _I love you, Billy, with all my heart.  
But I guess I'll have to settle for the next best thing.  
Mac_

For the second time this night Will froze. Did he not only ruin the past years for them with his stubborness but their whole future?

It couldn't be. It _mustn't_ be.  
How on earth could he fix this?

But there were still more e-mails, maybe she changed her mind?

 **Date: 31 May 2009, 01:32 a.m.**

 _Will,  
don't worry. I will keep writing. I still want you to be a part of Cathy's life and you need to know about her, just as she needs to know about you.  
I watched this wonderful movie the other day: 'Dear Frankie'. A young mother is doing everything to assure her son that he has a loving father. Yet in reality they are constantly on the run to get away from him.  
I will also do everything possible to have Cathy know about you. Except that we're not running from you but hoping that you'll come to us.  
Isn't it ironic?_

„I'm coming, Mac, I'm coming. I just hope I'm not too late..."

 **Date: 21 June 2009, 10:51 a.m.**

 _Time for another update, a lot has happened.  
Cathy is walking on her own now, sometimes still a little bit wobbly, but she's getting there. And she's becoming her own little person! She loves to cuddle and snuggle but she can also throw a pretty good tantrum if something doesn't go her way. I shouldn't be surprised, after all you and me both have our tempers.  
I started seeing someone. His name is Wade and he is a lawyer at the District Attorneys office. He seems to be a nice guy; we had few dates and it was very easy-going._

Will swallowed hard.

 **Date: 15 July 2009, 07:08 p.m.**

 _CitCat loves to go to the playground, especially splashing about in the sand box. Which naturally means she needs a bath every night, not only because of the sand but also because she now insists on eating on her own. You wouldn't believe the mess she's able to make by just eating a simple sandwich! Luckily she also likes playing with her rubber duck in the tub, so that's fine.  
Wade's been over the other day to meet her for the first time. He wasn't really comfortable around her yet; he doesn't normally have contact with small children, but he's trying. He suggested to go on little outings, just the three of us, so they both get used to each other. Isn't that sweet?_

Will ground his teeth. That jerk didn't only want to take Mac away from him but also his daughter... He wouldn't let that happen!

 **Date: 10 August 2009, 00:08 a.m.**

 _We just returned from a 4-day trip to Niagara Falls today (no, seeing the time: yesterday), it was magical! I'll attach some pictures – Look at how Cathy enjoyed herself! I'm glad Wade went with us. The boat ride was partly pretty rough, so I rather let him carry our little girl, I didn't want to risk her falling into the water!_

Away on a weekend trip, so he had to assume that Mac was really serious about this guy... Will couldn't help but imagining her kissing another man and going to bed with him and it made his stomach turn.  
It looked like he had to start devising a plan on how to win her back...

 **Date: 29 September 2009, 08:18 p.m.**

 _Will,  
sorry for not writing for a while, but the new school year started and your daughter is also keeping me pretty busy.  
We started potty training and she is doing really good. She's still wearing her diapers, but sometimes she does manage to let me know in time that she has to go potty and she is so proud when she does.  
I'm proud of her, too, but it also makes me realize that she is really growing up so quickly...  
One weekend a month she is now sleeping over at Sloan's place, it's become _their _thing. They both love it and Cathy is spoiled rotten, believe me!  
For me it's nice to have a Saturday night for myself for a change. Last time I went to the theatre with Wade, that was really lovely. But I also like to stay at home, soak in the tub for hours with a nice glass of wine or just do whatever I please.  
Mac_

With or without him?  
Will tortured himself with 'what ifs' though he knew he had no right to be jealous. He just couldn't help it...

 **Date: 24 October 2009, 12:23 a.m.**

 _Will,  
this year went by so quickly, not long and it's christmas again. I guess this year our pumpkin will mostly get books. She _loves _to be read to and if I don't have time she can spend hours turning the pages and looking at the pictures.  
She is a big fan of Sesame Street, so her favourite book to look at is currently „T_ _he Monster at the End of this Book" starring Grover.  
Speaking of christmas – I don't know what we'll be doing this year. My parents asked us to come over, but Wade thought a trip for just the three of us would be nice. I haven't decided yet, but I do miss my parents, as does Cathy. She's always talking about Granny and Grandpa. She actually does talk in little sentences already!_

 **Date: 18 November 2009, 06:10 a.m.**

 _Christmas will be spent in England. I broke up with Wade._

YES!

With these two sentences Will's whole posture changed by 180 degrees. She broke up with Wade, he had another chance!

The following mails only contained updates on Cathy, almost always accompanied by pictures. His wish had apparently become true – She looked almost exactly like MacKenzie. Cathy's hair was a touch lighter but even a klutz like him could tell that she inherited her mothers delicate features. Growing up she would break a lot of hearts, that's for sure.

 **Date: 22 January 2010, 07:05 a.m.**

 _Our not so little girl is turning 2 today, I can hardly believe it.  
We'll have a little party and my parents will arrive this afternoon as surprise guests. CitCat will be so thrilled when she sees them!  
Once again I'm thanking you for the greatest gift of my life, Billy.  
Mac_

2 years already, it was unbelievable.  
Catherine's life had been presented to him in fast motion and he was simply overwhelmed. He would do anything to make up to her that she had to live without her father all this time.

Only a few more mails to go, but before reading those he had to do something else first. He got his blackberry and wrote a message to Charlie:

 _'Need a few days off, starting today. Have Elliot cover for me. Will call you soon.'_

* * *

 _..._

 _„Dear Frankie" is a wonderful movie I stumbled across recently, starring a young Emily Mortimer and Gerard Butler. It's beautiful, very 'quiet' and deserves to be watched. Look it up! If you do watch it, let me know what you think._

 _And thanks for all your great reviews, I really appreciate it! It's fun writing this story. Probably just one more chapter to go..._


	5. Chapter 5

_So here's the next chapter, but not - as initially intended - the last one. This is already much longer than chapters 1 - 4 and I haven't told it all yet, so there will be another one after this._

* * *

Will was done reading.

In her last mails Mac hadn't written anything about planning to move, so he now knew for sure, that he would find her in Cambridge. It was early Friday morning, Easter was still a few weeks off - She had to be there for her classes.

When she had written him about having taken the job, she had also sent him her new address. As she had never mentioned anything about a move at a later date he would go to that place first. If she didn't live there anymore he could always try to find her through the university; and if he'd have to stalk her.

Three years...  
Why did he have to be so damn proud and stubborn?  
Mac was right. Even if his first assumption of her cheating way into their relationship _had been_ correct he should have tried to forgive her instead of pondering about it and feeling sorry for himself. But not even listening to her showed what a prick he had been.  
How could he ever make up for all the pain he had caused her?

He sighed. Making it up to her was of secondary importance for now and it wouldn't be done in a single day or week. But first of all she had to take him back.  
He had no idea if she would still be prepared to give him another chance. She had assured him repeatedly that he would always be welcome in his daughter's life, but what about hers?

He thought about working out a strategy; surprise her with romantic dinners, shower her with gifts, maybe even write her a song... But he knew that wasn't how it worked. What they needed now was complete honesty.

A lot had happened to both of them since they'd seen each other last – granted, considerably a lot more to her than to him – and they needed to talk about it. There was no way they could just pick up where they had left off three years ago, even without considering that Cathy had entered their lifes.  
He would just have to play it by ear, starting with Mac's reaction to seeing him and take it from there.

He thought about calling her first, but no, he needed to see her face when he appeared at her doorstep. If he called ahead and warned her about coming to see them she would probably drive herself nuts and be a nervous wreck before he arrived.  
That was if she didn't tell him to stay the hell away in the first place...

So first things first.

He itched to get on the earliest possible flight, but he had to be realistic. Mac would be working during the day and he himself should at least try to get a few hours rest. Or he would be so tired later that he wouldn't be able to think straight, which really wouldn't put him into the best position for the probably most important conversation of his life.

So he got onto the internet and booked himself on an afternoon flight to Boston. At the airport he would rent a car and drive the short distance to Harvard. And from there on he would have to improvise...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was shortly past seven o'clock at night and Will had been sitting outside of MacKenzie's house, a nice Cape Cod with a small front yard and a picket fence, for about ten minutes now. He pictured Cathy running around, chasing a butterfly with a happy laugh and he smiled to himself.

Then he sighed. This was insane – for the past 18 hours he had wanted nothing more then being here which made this time feel like an eternity, and now he was afraid. He didn't know what he would do if Mac told him to go away. But he did know that procrastinating definitely wouldn't help, so he finally opened the door, grabbed his bag from the passenger seat and got out of the car.

It only took him a few steps until he stood in front of her house and while taking a deep breath he rang the door bell. He nervously tugged at his leather jacket. It had been a gift from Mac and he had thought it might be nice to show her that he was still wearing it.

Then he heard footsteps and the door was opened by MacKenzie. And Will went blank.

He had thought about what he wanted to say and practiced it over and over on the flight, but the moment he saw Mac he forgot everything and could only stare at her. She was even more beautiful than he remembered and his heart started pounding in his chest. He just hoped he didn't look like a complete imbecile.

Just like him Mac was at a loss of words. The expression on her face was pure disbelief and after what felt like hours she finally managed to whisper „Will?"

Will nervously shifted on his feet. „Hello, Mac."

She kept her eyes on his face, but didn't say anything. Finally, when the silence began to feel _really_ uncomfortable, Will took heart and asked „May I come in?"

Mac startled, but after a few seconds she nodded, stepping aside to let him in before leading him into the living room. He subconsciously noticed that it was very tastefully furnished, yet comfortable. Books on the table, toys on the floor, a sweater tossed onto the back of a chair; definitely a room that was lived in, not like his sterile apartment.

Then he looked at Mac and saw that she was carefully observing him, nervously biting her lower lip, a habit he had absolutely fallen in love with when they first met. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

„I... I'm sorry to just barge in here, Mac. I wasn't sure if you would have wanted to see me if I had called first... I... I've... read your e-mails."

„So?" Mac's voice was shaky. „If you read my mails what made you come only now, three years later?"

„I only read them last night... for the first time..." Mac took a sharp breath and Will quickly continued. „I have deleted all your voice messages without listening to them and I never read your e-mails before, but I saved them all. I don't know what made me do it but yesterday I finally opened the first one and from there on there was no stopping... Mac, I have been a complete and utter jackass and all I can do is apologize for everything I have done to you..."

Mac didn't say a word but just looked at him.

„May I explain?" She slowly nodded.

„I have to go back to the night you told me about Brian, I'm sorry...  
When you told me that you had slept with him I was in complete shock and just tuned out. All I could do was think ' _How could she?_ ' over and over again..." Mac flinched at his words and he appeasingly lifted his hands. „It felt like I was sitting underneath a cheese cover or in a diving bell or... wherever and everything you said aftwards was a complete blurr. So I never knew what really happened and all this time I just assumed you saw Brian right before you told me and I felt utterly betrayed..."

„Actually, that's kind of what's happening to me right now... I hear what you're saying but it doesn't really make any sense..."

Will took a small step towards her.  
„The gist of what I'm saying is that I am a fucking idiot, Mac...I was so hurt and only wanted to forget, even though I missed you so much. In the past three years there wasn't a single day that I didn't think about you, about us. We were so good together... And then last night, when I read what really happened..." His voice almost broke and he took another deep breath. „If I hadn't been so stupid, I would have opened your e-mails right when you sent them and I would have been knocking at your door five minutes later... Hell, I shouldn't even have needed any calls or e-mails. I should have realized that I didn't know the whole story and I should have come to you to explain it to me..."  
Tears sprang into his eyes. "This whole time... It's all on me... I will never be able to make this up to you, Mac... I am so very, very sorry..."

He remembered the bag he was holding in his hand and while reaching into it he went on. „I've got something for you..."  
He pulled out a plushy 'Eeyore' he had bought at a toy store on the way from the airport and held it out to her with a rueful smile. „I didn't want to come here empty-handed and I know how much you like Winnie and his friends, so I thought Eeyore could always remind you about what a stubborn mule I was..."

After a couple of seconds Mac accepted the little stuffed donkey and didn't take her eyes off it, still biting her lip. „So... So what you're saying is, that you have forgiven me?"

„No." Will shook his head, but when he saw the sudden pain on her face he quickly went on. „There is _nothing_ I need to forgive you for, not one single thing, on the contrary. You have done everything right, it was all me... I will never be able to forgive myself but I was hoping... maybe _you_ can one day?"

Mac's eyes were now fixed onto his while she held Eeyore close to her chest. Will's frightened and at the same time hopeful look melted her heart. A beautiful smile spread over her face and a tear ran down her cheek.  
This was exactly what she had been dreaming about since the day he had broken up with her and she couldn't believe it was actually happening.

„Billy?"

„Yes?" Hope rising in his heart when he heard her using his nickname only she called him by.

„Would you like to see your daughter?"

His eyes went wide and he could only return her smile with a big happy grin. „I can't wait."

Mac started walking towards the door, taking his hand in passing and pulling him with her. „She's asleep, but normally she's a heavy sleeper and won't wake up."  
She carefully opened a door at the end of the upstairs corridor and led him into their daughter's room. He tiptoed to her bed and there she was, a beautiful little girl with rosy cheeks, curled up next to a stuffed teddy bear and breathing peacefully.

All Will could do was look at her with tears in his eyes and hold on to Mac's hand, squeezing it tightly. „She is gorgeous." he whispered after a few minutes in awe.

„Yes, she is..." Mac breathed back. „And she will be so happy to finally meet you..." Then she pulled him back towards the door. „You'll see her tomorrow."

He nodded and followed her, not loosening the grip on her hand while keeping his eyes on his daughter as long as possible. _His daughter!_

Back in the living room Mac wanted to let go off his hand but he held onto it and turned her towards him.  
„Thank you, Mac... Thank you for including me into her life and never stopping to send e-mails and pictures. I know I didn't deserve it, I never gave you any reason to believe in me." A tear ran down his cheek but he kept looking into her eyes. „I am so sorry that you had to go through all this on your own... You have to believe me, if I had known I would have been there for you all the way..."

„I know, Billy." she assured him, pressing his hand. „That's why I never gave up on you."

She led him to the couch and motioned him to sit. When he did she settled herself in the opposite corner, facing him and pulling her legs up to her chest.

Will sighed. „Why didn't you just show up on my doorstep to tell me you were pregnant?"

Mac looked down at her knees and didn't answer for a while. When she finally did she chose her words very carefully.  
„I thought about it. And I wanted to. But I always knew that I would never lie to my baby about its father... Cathy knows that it's you. She is still too small to understand why you aren't around, but when she is older she will ask and I don't want to tell her that I told you about her face to face and you didn't care..."

„Mac! How could you think... I would never have..."

Mac cut him off. „You've never returned a single call or answered any of my emails, Will. I told you I was pregnant with _your_ child. I told you how scared I was. I sent you pictures, I let you be part of our life, I begged you to come, but you never even answered... What was I supposed to think...?" She shook her head.  
„I wanted you to know, that's why I kept on writing emails. When you didn't reply I could always make excuses to myself. _'Oh, maybe the mail was categorized as spam.'_ or _'Maybe Will has changed his email address and forgot to tell me.'_ And besides Cathy's feelings... If I had told you to your face and you had walked away, it would have killed me..."

He intently looked at her and then he slowly nodded. „I understand... Oh God, I am so, so sorry, Mac." He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. After a while he heard Mac move behind him and then he felt her hand soothingly stroking his hair.

„It's alright, Billy, it's alright. You're here now, that's the only thing that matters..."

With a whimper he turned around and pressed himself against her chest, his arms around her waist, crying for every day they had lost. After a moment of surprise she held him tight and when she leaned her head against the top of his he felt her own tears falling down on him.

When his sobbing had ceased she slowly moved back a little with a last stroke over his hair. „Would you like something to drink?"

He brushed away his tears and nodded with a light smile. „Actually a coffee would be nice, I didn't get any sleep last night."

„Coming right up." She stood up and left the room, giving him time to compose himself.

A couple of minutes later he heard the door bell, followed by footsteps and the opening of the door. He tried not to eavesdrop but couldn't help overhearing a few words of the muffled conversation between Mac and another woman.

„...sorry... forgot...visitor..."

„but... who just..." And then suddenly very loud and clear „WHAT? _THAT_ WILL?"

„ _Shhhhh_... wake... tomorrow..."

The next thing he heard was the door being closed and a minute later MacKenzie came back with his coffee. „I'm sorry it has taken so long, there was someone at the door." She sat back in her spot on the couch and tucked her knees up to her chest again.

„Thanks." He took the cup and drank a little, then he put it down and looked at her. „Can we talk?"

She bit her lip again, but nodded. „I think we need to."

This was it. The conversation that could decide their whole future.  
As much as he dreaded it, he also wanted to know.

„You said before that you never gave up on me... But you did write in your e-mails that you have moved on..."

„I never gave up on you in relation to Catherine. I don't want her to grow up without a father."

„She doesn't have to, Mac... I want to be a part of her life. A big part..." Will's face went soft and Mac gave him the most beautiful smile despite of the tears appearing in her eyes.

„So did you, MacKenzie? Did you move on?"

She looked down and then shrugged her shoulders. „I tried... I really tried, you know?"

„Are you seeing anybody?" Will held his breath.

„Not since Wade..." Mac said quietly.

„Thank God..." Will sighed, but then squirmed.  
„I'm sorry, that was insensitive. I really do want you to be happy, it's just... What happened?"

Mac put her arms around her knees and sighed. „We had a nice run for a while, Wade and I. He was good looking, charming, intelligent and seemed to care for Cathy. I really thought it might work... But then it turned out that he actually didn't really like children; he was only putting up with Cathy for my sake..."  
She paused for a moment before continuing with a trembling voice.  
„He wanted to be on the right side of me to be able to use me. He never told me, but I found out that he was using our relationship and my name to get in touch with some of my former contacts to start his own political career... If an old friend of mine from the DNC hadn't contacted me, I probably wouldn't even have known until I saw his name on the ballot... And when I confronted him he didn't even deny it..."

Will saw the hurt in Mac's eyes and moved a little closer. Then he carefully put his hand on her knee and he was glad that she didn't move it away.

„I'm sorry, you got hurt again, Mac... You deserve so much better... But... honestly? I'm not sorry that you broke up with him. I don't know if I would have dared to come otherwise..."

She looked up. „Really? Not even to see Cathy?"

„Of course I would have come for Cathy. I loved the idea of a child as soon as I read your e-mail last night telling me you were pregnant. And I fell head over heels in love with Cathy a couple hours later when I opened the mail you sent after she was born... And even more with every e-mail that followed..." A wide smile appeared on Mac's face, a smile that made Will's heart miss a beat.  
„But I came here for more..." he added and looked straight into her eyes while his thumb stroke her knee. „I love you, Mac. I have never stopped loving you. I only hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me."

Mac held her breath and looked at him increduously. „What?"

„I love you, Mac, with all my heart, torn as it is. I'm all yours, if you want me..."

"Wait." She shook her head in disbelief. „What in the fuck is happening right now?"

„This." Will leaned forward and softly placed his lips on hers, lingering for only a short moment before he pulled back. „I love you", he whispered and then he waited, because he knew for certain the next step had to be hers.

He looked at the range of emotions crossing her face; from shock to disbelief and fear to credence and finally joy. Her eyes began to sparkle while she still tried to hold her emotions in, but then she let out a happy squeal, jumped forward throwing her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

Will almost tumbled over onto his back but quickly recovered, moving his hands up into her hair and responding in kind. He opened his lips to let her in and moaned at the incredible sensations that overwhelmed him. This felt so right and he had missed it so much.

The kiss quickly became more and more passionate while he felt one of Mac's hands stroking his back, the other one entangled in his hair. Finally he breathlessly pulled back which caused a disappointed whine to escape her lips. Hesitantly she opened her eyes and saw him looking at her with a deliriously happy smile on his face which left her no other choice than to return it.

Will pulled her to his chest, holding her tight as if he never wanted to let go off her again. „I love you, I love you so much, MacKenzie..." he mumbled over and over while pressing soft kisses onto the top of her head. She sighed and and let her hand slide up to the back of his neck, where she stroke along the edge of his hair with her thumb.

„I love you, too, Billy..."  
Immediately she felt his body relax while at the same time he tightened his grip around her.  
„Thank God..."

Mac smiled into his chest, still a little shaken. She couldn't believe what had happened tonight. She hadn't believed her eyes at first when she had opened the door. She had been sure she had a hallucination, but it seemed so real! And then he had started to talk and said all the right things. The things that she had been longing to hear for the past years and now she could only think that he was here, that he still loved her and that she never wanted this moment to end.

However, after a few minutes he cleared his throat. „So does that mean you have forgiven me?"

Her fingers stopped their movements in his neck and she slid her hand down to his chest to help push herself up so that she could look at Will, giving him a shy smile.  
„ I think I have, Billy..."

„You think?" He raised his eyebrows and tried to hide the vulnerability in his voice but she knew him too well.

She gave him a soft, reassuring kiss and entangled her fingers with his.  
„I never lied in my e-mails, Billy. I do love you and I always wanted you to come back, but... I might not have given you the whole picture...  
There were many days when I was really mad and angry with you. Often I was frustrated or had days where I just wanted to scream or come down to New York and beat some sense into you... But I always tried not to write on these days... I know you and I was afraid you would shut down completely if I went down on you too hard. I couldn't risk that, for Cathy's sake. I am happy you are here now, I just don't know how quickly I can forget about this time..."

Will thought about her words for a moment and then gave her a warm smile. „That's only fair, I guess... I certainly took my time... But I can promise you this: I will do everything I can for you and Cathy to make up for these years, and there is no chance that I will ever hurt you again, at least not intentionally. How's that for a start?"

„I like the sound of that." Mac smiled and cupped his cheeks. „I can't believe I can touch you again..." she whispered against his lips.

„You can touch me anytime, anywhere, anyplace... Feel free..." Suddenly Will grinned and winked at her. „So, did you write all that stuff about Wade on purpose to make me jealous?"

Mac laughed out loud. „You would think so, wouldn't you?" Then she sighed. „No, I really thought we might have a shot... But right now I'm pretty glad it didn't work out..."

She leaned forward to give him a lingering kiss, running her tongue along his bottom lip causing him to moan, before she broke it off. Looking into his eyes she got up, took his hand and pulled him with her when she walked towards the door and up the stairs.

When they entered her bedroom she closed the door, then turned to him and slowly let her hands move across his chest.

Will swallowed hard. „Are you sure, Mac? There is nothing I want more but we don't have to..."

„Shhhh... I've been waiting for this for so long... Just kiss me..."

He didn't need another invitation after that.  
He put his hands around her waist to pull her in and then there was only the feeling of her lips against his, their tongues slowly re-familiarizing themselves with each other and a series of moans as their kisses became deeper and more passionate.

* * *

 _Switching to actual conversations did make this chapter more difficult for me to write, so I do hope you still enjoyed it.  
_

 _One more to go!_


	6. Chapter 6

Both of them screamed at the same time.

„Ooooh, Billy!"  
„Mac!"

With one last thrust Will fell down on top of her, nestling his head in the crook of her neck while panting for air. Hearing Mac trying to catch her breath in his ear he remembered his size and wanted to roll off her, but she held on to him and shook her head. „Stay, don't move."

He happily obliged but he did at least shift some of his weight onto his elbows and forearms. Breathing heavily he looked at her beautiful face. „That was... amazing... I know we've been good before but have we always been _that_ good?"

Mac lifted her head to give Will a long kiss while her hands ran up and down his back. „You were unbefuckinglievable, Billy... God, I have missed you so much..."

„I've missed you more." he murmured while placing small kisses along her jaw down to her neck. „Didn't you... write... something... about a... special... spot... on your... neck and... asked me... to do something... with it? Is it... this one?" Mac squirmed when he flicked his tongue right underneath her earlobe. „Or this one?" Now he slowly ran it along the hollow above her collarbone and was rewarded with a loud moan.

„Both" she gasped and he smiled into her neck. After a last kiss he did roll around and pulled Mac with him so that she came to lie on top of him.

„I love you, Mac."

„I love you, too, Billy." Mac contently snuggled her head into the crook of his neck and drew little lines on his chest with her fingers. After a while they started to drowse off, but then she suddenly turned her head and started to move.

„What?" Will asked sleepily.

„I'm sorry, it's time to check on Cathy, sometimes she wakes up around this time. I'll be right back."

„Wait... Stay put, I can do that."

„Will..."

„Don't worry, if I hear anything I won't go in but come and get you. I won't have her find a strange man in her room. Okay? I'd like to do this."

„Okay." Mac smiled with watery eyes.

Will quickly put on his boxers and t-shirt and went to check on his daughter. When he came back a minute later he gave Mac a reassuring smile. „CitCat is sound asleep, don't worry."

He took off his shirt and slid back right next to her. Then he saw that she was biting her lower lip again, so he knew she was uneasy about something. „What is it, Mac?"

She hesitated at first, then sighed. „Not that I'm complaining but you... you really seem to put your whole heart into being a father..."

„Well, there is a big part of my heart that belongs to you, but basically... yeah, I do. And that is a problem because...?"

„I thought... maybe you only came because of Cathy?" She ducked a little and held her breath.

„ _What...?_ And I probably only just had mind-blowing sex with you because you were available... Seriously?"

„I'm sorry..." she said feebly. „It's all just so overwhelming..."

He shook his head and took her hand. „Listen to me, Mac: After reading your very first e-mails explaining everything, all I wanted was to call you immediately. I wanted to be with you so badly, right then and there. But then I started to think and you know that's almost never good when it concerns you... I just didn't want to mess everything up again, and I thought it would be better to let it sink in first, so I kept reading... Only then I learned about Cathy."

„So why didn't you call then?"

„Well... First of all it was not even an hour after that first revelation when I read the mails in which you told me you were pregnant. Not really much time to let it sink especially with those news on top. Believe me, I was pretty overwhelmed, too...  
And then in last year's mails you never wrote anything about your feelings for me anymore, instead I had to read about Wade... I was afraid you really _had_ moved on...

„You're an idiot, you know that?"

„I told you that the moment I got here..." he said contritely.

„Come here" With a teasing smile Mac pulled him into her arms. „At least you are _my_ idiot now, so why don't you try to make it up to me?"

And so he did.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

„Mommy... Mooommyyy..."

Will woke up the same moment as Mac lifted her head from his shoulder. „I'm coming, Sweetie, hang on."

She turned and looked at him, smiling at his wide eyes and leaning in for a light kiss. „Morning... I'll have to go get her." She slid to the edge of the bed. „No sleeping in on the weekends with kids around."

When he didn't answer she turned back to him and laughed quietly. „Don't look so terrified, Will. She will love you!"

„Moooommyyyyyy!"

„I'm coming, Darling..." She softly put her hand on his cheek.  
„Just get dressed and wait for us downstairs, okay? We'll be down in about ten minutes."

When he nodded she got up, quickly put her PJs on and left the room. Will followed her with his eyes and then forced himself to leave the bed. Grabbing his clothes he went into the adjoining bathroom to take a quick shower. After he got dressed he looked at himself in the mirror. „Are you really ready to do this, old chap?"

Well, it didn't matter if he was, Cathy was awake and he was going to meet her. Damn, he should have asked Mac a lot more about her; what he should say, what she liked and especially what she didn't like.

He slowly went downstairs and nervously paced through the living room. After a few minutes he heard Mac coming down the stairs, speaking in a gentle voice. „I know we still have to get you dressed, CitCat, but I have a surprise for you first. How would you like to see your daddy?"

„Daddy in TV!"

„Right, normally Daddy is on TV, but not today. Look who is waiting for you..." With these words she stepped inside the room, carrying the most beautiful little girl on her hip Will had ever seen.  
Cathy had dark brown hair, gorgeous eyes – MacKenzie's eyes – and her cheeks were rosy from sleeping. He registered all this within a second while feeling rather awkward standing in the middle of the room.

Mac gave him an encouraging smile. „You're daddy wants to say hello to you, Pumpkin."

Will cleared his throat. „Hello, Cathy... I'm so happy to meet you."

Cathy coyly dug her face into Mac's shoulder and Will sent her mother a desperate look. What if she didn't like him?  
But Mac just whispered a few words into her daughter's ear who started to giggle and then cautiously turned her head to give him a quick look. „Hi."

„Hi." Will's face lit up. And then he remembered. „I brought you a little something, hang on."  
He bent down to pick up the bag he had discarded on the floor the evening before and when he got back up Cathy had lifted her head and looked at him curiously.

„You're mommy told me that you like Sesame Street and I found this little fella who is looking for a new home. Do you think you could take good care of him for me?" With this he pulled out a stuffed Grover doll and held it out to her.

„GOVA!" Cathy squealed excitedly and started to wiggle around so that her mother would let her down. Once on the floor she ran to Will with her short legs, who went down on one knee to hand over her new friend. She grabbed him and held on to him tightly while she gave her father a happy smile that actually did make his heart do a backward somersault. He shakily smiled back at her.

„What do you say, Sweetheart?" Mac's voice interrupted the moment.

„Thank you, Daddy." Cathy said in the most adorable way and then she flung her little arms around her dad's neck and hugged him.

Time stood still and Will almost stopped breathing. He carefully put his arms around his little girl and tears started running down his cheeks. He looked up at Mac who didn't even try to hide her own emotions at seeing the two people she loved most in the world together for the first time.

When she saw that Cathy was getting ready to let go off Will she stepped forward. „Why don't you sit down on the couch with your daddy and show him the Grover book you like so much, CitCat?" The little one nodded fiercely and ran off to a bookshelf in the corner.  
Will used that moment to get off his bad knee, quickly took Mac's hand and whispered „Thank you."

She just smiled. „I told you not to worry, didn't I? You did great!"

When Cathy came back with the book she took Will's hand, pulled him over to the couch and climbed up to sit next to him. „Read, please?"  
Soon the two of them were so absorbed in their doings that they didn't even notice Mac leaving the room.

When she returned, now fully dressed and the smell of coffee following her, Will and Cathy were still sitting on the couch, but now a whole stack of books was spread out around them on the couch and they were browsing through Dr. Seuss' „The Cat In The Hat".

„What are all these books doing on the couch, little lady?"

Cathy looked up and tilted her head, while Will came to her rescue. „I asked her what other books she liked so she _had to_ show them to me, didn't she?"

„I guess she had to", Mac replied with a chuckle. „Let's clean up this mess so that we can eat breakfast, and then we have to get you dressed, okay Munchkin?"  
Cathy nodded and started carrying the books back to the shelf.

Mac looked at Will. „Are you okay?"  
He answered with an amazed smile. „I'm more than okay, this is just perfect."

After breakfast and after Cathy was dressed they decided to go to the park to feed the ducks. After a stop at the playground and the supermarket to get a few things for the weekend it was time to go home for Cathy's midday nap and Will was proud as a peacock when she insisted on being carried home by him, even falling asleep at his shoulder.

After Mac had put her to bed she came downstairs and found Will sitting on the couch, his head resting in the cushions and his eyes closed.  
„Are you sleeping, old man?" she chuckled.

He didn't open his eyes. „I should be... Come here." His hand quickly moved forward and pulled her down next to him. She laughed and then curled herself up at his side, putting her head on his chest.

„I know it's not over yet but I can already tell you that this is the happiest day of my life."

„Mine, too", she whispered. „You were just wonderful with Cathy, you're a real natural, Billy."

„I was so terribly nervous, I think without you we wouldn't even have gotten to our 'hellos'."

„Give yourself some credit, McAvoy. I'm not into bribing children but Grover was genius."

They spent the next minutes in silence, pondering over the events of the day, until Will shifted to sit up a little and lifted his head.

„Mac?" He slowly ran his fingers through her hair.

„Hmm?"

„I would like to ask you something but I want you to know that, whatever your answer is, it has nothing to do with this... with us... Okay?"

Mac raised her eyebrows and turned her head slightly to look at him. „What are you up to now?"

He nervously cleared his throat. „I know you like teaching here and if that's what you want to do I will support you in any way I can... But... did you ever think about getting back into a newsroom?"

She didn't answer at first. „Is that a job offer?"

„Most definitely. If it was up to me you could start on Monday already."

„What about your current EP?"

„You've seen Thursday's show?"

Mac giggled. „Yeah... right..."

„Exactly... And by the way: Not funny..."

„A little bit funny. That's what you get for not sticking to your principles. You know, if I came back I wouldn't do a format like the one you're doing now. What happened to _our_ show? The important topics. The tough follow-ups. Informing the electorate. What happened to the _News_?"

Will squirmed. „That's a question with an easy answer, Mac: You weren't there...  
There's no one else I could do that show with. I need you in my ear, I need you to kick my ass and I need you to bring out the best in me... So what do you say? Can you see yourself back in my newsroom?"

Mac sat up and looked at him. „I like teaching here and I like spending time with the students or as they like to call themselves: The new media elite."

Will looked down. „So you don't..."

„Shhh..." Mac lifted his chin up with her fingers. „Let me finish. I was gonna say: But there is no place I'd rather be than in your control room." Will's eyes lit up. „I miss reporting the news, Billy. I've been offered several EP-positions over the past years, but I couldn't imagine working with anybody but you. So yes, if you want me, I'd love to come back."

Will took a deep breath. „Yep... Definitely the best day of my life..."  
With that he leaned towards Mac, pushed her onto her back and started kissing her passionately. She responded immediately, moaning and grinding her hips into him, but when he started to open the buttons of her shirt she stopped his hand and whispered hoarsely. „There's a little kid in the house, Billy..."

He closed his eyes, buried his face in her neck and sighed. „Right..."  
Then suddenly she felt him grinning against her skin.  
„What now?"

Will sat up and grabbing his phone he winked at her. He pushed a few buttons and when she wanted to ask him, what all that was about he raised his hand and showed her the picture someone had taken of the three of them on the swing set in the park this morning, Will holding little CitCat on his lap while Mac stood next to him with his arm around her waist and all three of them were beaming into the camera.

„Just wait a minute." And sure enough a moment later his phone rang and he put it on speaker. „Yes?"

„What the hell? Did I just get a picture of you, MacKenzie and Baby Mac? What the fuck is going on?"

Will grinned at Mac. „Hi Charlie. I just thought I'd let you know that I hired a new EP for my show. Big Mac that is, not Little Mac... However, Little Mac is my daughter I would like you to meet soon."

Will wasn't completely sure but this was probably the first time he ever experienced Charlie at a loss of words. He started to speak several times, never managing to utter more then a simple 'but...".'  
Mac finally took pity on him and leaned towards the phone. „Hello, Charlie. You have to forgive this big kid next to me, he's kind of been in kindergarten all day today..."

„Mac, is that you? Will's with you? You have a daughter? And you'll be coming back to ACN?"

„Yep..." She grinned back at Will.

„I need a Bourbon..." They heard him opening a bottle and pouring a generous amount of liquid into a glass. „You know you're talking to an old man, right? Never ever shock me like that again." He gulped down his drink. „But MacKenzie?"

„Yes, Charlie?"

„I'm glad this idiot sitting next to you finally got his head out of his ass. I'm very happy for you." She could actually hear him smiling through the phone.

„Thanks, Charlie, me too. See you soon." She hung up and turned to Will, putting her arms around his neck. „By the way, ready for my first pitch?"

„Shoot." He put her legs over his and began to draw circles on her thighs with his fingers.

„I want you to do a few segments on the economy and invite Sloan Sabbith as an expert guest. She'll be great and if she likes it I want to get her on as an economics newscaster and later co-anchor."

Will almost choked. „You don't even know if she can do that!"

„Sure I do. She's smart, articulate, has 2 PhDs and on top of it she is darn sexy. Everything else I can teach her; look how you've turned out... Sloan is exactly what you need. And aside from that... We wouldn't wanna leave Cathy's godmother back here, do we?" Mac tilted her head, looked at him with innocent eyes und Will knew he was in trouble. „I'll talk to her..." he sighed.

So in the afternoon they visited Sloan, who was very protective of Mac and Cathy and gave Will a good grilling. Only when he openly pledged his eternal love for the both of them she accepted him as the new man at their side, not without telling him that she'd keep an eye on him.

She didn't loath the idea of moving to New York and give her lessons on the economy to a cable network audience instead of an auditorium full of students and it was agreed that she would come to New York in a couple of weeks to meet with Charlie, Will and her potential producer Don Keefer.

When they were ready to leave she offered to keep Cathy overnight at her place so that the two of them could have „a good go at it" as she said and promised to bring their girl back first thing in the morning.

Leaving the house Mac gave Will an amused look. „So, what do you think?"

He grinned. „She sure is one of a kind... But I like her. Don will have a blast keeping the reins on her tight..."

Much later, after long hours of wild and passionate – and loud – lovemaking, they lay entangled on her bed, completely oblivious of everything except themselves.

Will carefully reached under his pillow and pulled out a little velvet box he had placed there before.  
„Mac? Can I talk to you for a second?"

„Mmmh... sure."

„Come on, sit up please." He lifted himself up against the headboard and waited for her to follow his lead, before he took her hand in his.

"MacKenzie, I love you. You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in real life. I love your smile, I love your voice, I love your passion and I love how you love Cathy." He showed her his other hand with the opened box inside and her eyes grew wide.

„I bought this ring a few days after we came back from the Hamptons and I was just waiting for the right moment to give it to you... After we broke off I wanted to return it but I couldn't..."  
He leaned forward to give her a soft kiss. "Relax, Mac, I am not proposing to you right now, I know we still have a lot to work out... But this is yours and I... I thought maybe you would like to wear it on your right hand... and whenever you're ready... you just put it on your left?

Mac looked at him with teary eyes. "Oh Billy... of course I would like that. It's beautiful!"

"Not as beautiful as you." he said before leaning in for a rewarding kiss.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 **Epilogue**

 **28 July 2010**

Mac had been back at ACN for about three and half months, immediately being thrown in at the deep end with the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill being the top story on her first day.

Cathy had adjusted beautifully to the new surroundings, Sloan had signed a contract with ACN and Mac and Will had never been so happy as they were now.

They surely hadn't forgotten how to fight, but they both took care that they only really fought on professional issues. So far they had managed well to leave work disputes in the office and for their occasional arguments in their private life they had established the rule to never go to bed while being angry with each other.

Today they had had a heated argument at the rundown meeting about a segment Will absolutely insisted on having in the A-block while Mac was only prepared to put it in the C-block instead. In the end Mac had gotten her way and Will had been grumpy all evening, deliberately ignoring several of her instructions while on air.

Mac was livid but when she went to his office after the show he had already gone, so she had to go home on her own. Today she was prepared to throw the no-office-fights-at-home rule overboard and stormed into their new – child-friendly – apartment to give Will a piece of her mind when she heard it.

She carefully sneaked into the living room and saw Cathy sitting on the floor in front of Will who was playing the guitar and singing her a song.

… _. searching for gold_

 _I am my father's daughter  
he has his mother's eyes  
I am the product  
of her sacrifice  
_

 _I am the accumulation  
of the dreams of generations  
and their stories live  
in me like holy water.._

 _I am my father's daughter._

 _My father raised me..._

At this moment Cathy saw her mother standing in the door and she jumped up to run over to her. „Daddy sing for me, Mommy!"

„I heard, CitCat, that was beautiful. But shouldn't you be sleeping?" She lifted her up into her arms and gave her a kiss.

„Not sleepy, Mommy."

„Oh? I think you are, it's late. Let's give daddy a kiss goodnight, okay?"

She let Cathy say goodnight to her father and carried her to her room to put her to bed, all the while thinking about that beautiful scene she just ran into.

 _This_ was the most important part of her life, not the newsroom, not the stories and what the hell if they disagreed on some things. The important thing was the love they had for each other and for their daughter and as long as they had this everything else was of no importance and would be figured out eventually.

Slowly she went back into the living room and set down next to Will who was still absentely plunking the guitar but now looking at her.

„I'm sorry about tonight, Mac..."

„Will, I can't wear this anymore." Mac said, pulling his ring off her finger. Will stopped playing and looked at her in shock. Holding the ring out to him she went on with a loving smile. „I think it would look much better on my left hand, don't you, Billy?"

Will gasped and then broke into a relieved and happy smile. „Yeah, I think it definitely would."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

* * *

 _Well, that was it - I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing this._  
 _I'm looking forward to your comments!_

 _Lyrics part of the song:_

 _My Father's Daughter by Jewel ft. Dolly Parton_  
 _Album : Picking Up The Pieces 2015_  
 _(Doesn't really fit the timeline but I liked the words, especially seeing Will's family history, even though it wasn't mentioned here.)_


End file.
